Roger Clemens has dirty clothes

We’ve said on a number of occasions that sometimes this site writes itself. Again true. But The Big Picture and Roger Clemens learned yesterday that clothes don’t in fact clean themselves.

Clemens, good pitcher and newfound racist, said something yesterday that he dare not repeat to his launder.

“None of the dry cleaners were open, they were all at the game, Japan and Korea,” Clemens told the Associated Press yesterday about the fans of the World Baseball Classic. “So we couldn’t get any dry cleaning done out there, but I guess the neatest thing is that 50,000 of them were at Anaheim Stadium.”

Whoa. Just whoa!

We aren’t particularly big Clemens fans here, mainly because he’s from Texas and ‘cause he can’t make up his fucking mind about playing baseball this season.

But this racially insensitive comment takes our hatred for this prick to a whole new level.

For starters, Rog — you mind if we call you that, racist? — not all dry cleaners are run by Asians. And we’re gonna take a stab and say that there are a few more than 50,000 people working as launders in the greater Los Angeles area. We bet if you looked real, real hard (like somewhere other than Japan Town, you racist fuck), you could have had your clothes cleaned with your integrity still intact.

We have to wonder, though, what the fuck were you trying to get dry-cleaned on a couple-day road trip? Word has it that they have people who wash the uniforms for you after the game. And they probably aren’t all Japanese or Korean.

Clemens must’ve been sweating profusely while the dry-cleaners whooped on Team USA.

Although un-reported, we’re guessing that Clemens had a hard time getting his house cleaned while the U.S. played Mexico.

In Other News: The NCAA plans summer drug tests for NCAA athletes and winter drug tests for Little Leaguers.

-Adam Landres-Schnur