Morning Headlines: Villalona suspect in shooting death

Most mornings, we'll lead off the day with some AM headlines -- but not your traditional ones. Rather we'll focus on one game or story and write headlines that are completely inconsequential and insignificant to the outcome of the game. We'll give a few examples and then you'll play in the comments. Best headline (read: the one that makes us laugh the hardest) will get a shoutout in this space the next day. We'll provide the box score for the game as that can lend itself to plenty of content. Let's have some fun. The more insignificant, the better!

[Villalona involved in shooting].

-Villanoa's prospect status harmed by lack of plate discipline, murder

-Urbina: 'I think this kid has a bright future'

-Gaints prospect smokes baseballs, people

ALSO: Things that, until yesterday, might have been heard on KNBR (between announcers Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper, the radio home of the San Francisco Giants, in the future:

Kuiper: "Groundball to third, Villalona spears it and guns him down at first!"

Krukow: "He has everything you look for in a player, Kuip. He's got an absolute gun, he's really aggressive, and he just murders the ball."

Krukow: "Boy, Villalona's going through a tough stretch here these last few weeks. He's been absolutely brutal."

Your not-so-sensitive criminal headlines in the comments, please.