THIS is what we get to look forward to?

Writing a weekly column really isn’t as easy as you think. A writer has to come up with a decent idea, learn a little about that topic and then produce something timely, pertinent and mildly entertaining.

So while scouring (our thesaurus tells us that “scour” is synonymous with “search.” Cool.) sports media sources for a worthwhile story, we ran into a little poll on ESPN.com that got us thinking. The poll asked what upcoming sporting event people were most looking forward to:

• The NFL Draft (April 29-30)
• The start of the NBA Playoffs (April 22)
• The start of the NHL Playoffs (April 21)
• The Kentucky Derby (May 6)

To our amusement, the overwhelming response was the NFL Draft — the only choice that doesn’t involve a contest. While delighted with the response (we really like the NFL Draft!), it hammered home the fact that there are really no major sporting events to look forward to.

We know that there must be some NBA fans out there in this large world, but we just haven’t met any. The NBA, as a league, is flawed in more ways than Terrell Owens’ personality. The playoffs, for example, which start in 10 days, will not be over until 2012. They are the most dragged out, uneventful games any postseason has to offer.

Then the NHL playoffs, which are equally as long as the NBA’s format, just don’t get too many viewers because it’s, well, hockey.

The Kentucky Derby merits some interest from rich, Southern aristocrats, but college students probably can’t tell Churchill Downs from Emerald Downs. (And we’re guessing the inability to distinguish from a legendary site to, ugh, that one south on I-5, isn’t keeping too many kids up at night).

As for the NFL Draft, we just love it. It’s really a great event that seems to take just as long as the NBA Playoffs. We like it because college football excites us and we’re curious where big-name college stars will end up. Oh, and we get to hang out with hair boy, Mel Kiper Jr., for two straight days while he tells us the potential of some linebacker we never knew existed. What Mr. Kiper does during the rest of the year is beyond us, but if you happen to know, we’d love to hear. Despite liking the draft, all it really is is some names being announced.

Mid-column intermission: (By the way, we think these little tangents in the middle of a completely separate article are kinda tacky, but this story was just too good to leave out).

Former Philadelphia Phillies’ slugger Darren Daulton is back in the news and apparently has lost his fucking mind.

In an interview with Sports Illustrated, Daulton said, “Earth is entering a quadrant of space in which the ‘vibrational energy’ will increase dramatically. The Mayan calendar stops at Dec. 21, 2012 -- the date the Mayans believed the world would end,” he told SI. "On that day, at 11:11 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time, those who are ready to ascend will vanish from this plane of existence, like the crew of the Enterprise in Star Trek.”

Great, so Daulton thinks the world is gonna end on Dec. 21, 2012 — Greenwich Mean Time, of course. Neat. (Coincidentally, this season's NBA Finals are scheduled to begin that day at 5 p.m. Looks like we’re going to miss them. Shucks.)

Ok, back to the column. We’re by no means saying that this is a bad time in the sports season. We have Major League Baseball (ok, not in Seattle, but the rest of the country seems to field some professionals who can collect more than 4 runs in an entire series), UW spring football (all right, that may not be so exciting) and all sorts of NFL off-season moves with the Draft approaching.

Really what we’re trying, albeit miserably, to say, is that these four events that ESPN is trying to hype really are pretty lame and that there are no big, upcoming events to get truly excited about. Baseball is great, but with 162 games, each game doesn’t exactly carry the same implications as an NFL game.

The NBA and NHL playoffs and Kentucky Derby are just not too exciting. But hey, right when we’re getting deep into the NBA and NHL postseason, remember our boy Darren Daulton. Oh, and maybe prepare for the end of the world. Apparently it’s only an NBA postseason away.

This column was published in the University of Washington's The Daily.

In other news: While attorneys for the Duke lacrosse team said DNA testing failed to connect any members of the Duke University men's lacrosse team to the alleged sexual assault of an exotic dancer, the lawyers said there was a connection to the DNA of Kobe Byrant.