Monday, April 10, 2006

The ladies of Augusta National

Golf really isn't our thing. We don't play it. We don't talk about it. And we certainly don't watch it. Though, being the hypocrites we are, we tuned in to the last 10 minutes of The Masters yesterday, just in time to get a few good shots of Phil Mickelson's trophy (wife), Amy. This got us thinking about other hot golf-related babes, and because there really aren't too many, all we could come up with was Tiger's bitch. So we thought we'd compare Amy Mickelson to Elin Nordegren.






















Background: Amy and Phil met while at Arizona State. While we are no ASU experts, sources tell us that an ASU education isn't exactly something you would brag about. So, based on that, and the fact that she's a blonde, we'll just assume that Amy is about as smart as a brick wall. Elin is a model. She like poses for pictures and stuff. She likely slept with a few cameramen along the way, so we think she may be a bit run through, but nonetheless...a model!

Edge: Tiger's ho.

Face: Both ladies are doing well in this department. Elin's a little more made-up while Amy seems to be going with the more natural look. It's a tough thing to judge, especially how it's kind of a preference thing and all, but we just think Amy looks a bit more innocent, which is sorta cool.

Edge: Phil's trophy

Body: We thought this would be a no-brainer, but the only no-brainers around here belong to ASU grad Amy Mickelson. (Zing!). Elin's clearly slammin' from that picture, but Amy is hangin' around. We thought child birth would have fucked up Amy's chances, but it looks like she handled the duty of birth nicely. Still though, hard to pick against a swimsuit model...

Edge: Tiger's ho

Intangibles: Amy really has that whole innocent, girl-next-door thing working for her, while Elin looks like a girl you'd see in an issue of Backdoor Blondes. Elin's probably sitting a little prettier financially, in that Tiger pulls in more cash from endorsements than Lefty, but both are loaded beyond belief. It really just boils down to who you'd rather bang, and, like we already said, it's hard to turn down a Swedish swimsuit model.

Edge: Tiger's ho

Overall: Tiger's ho takes the cake. (Though Tiger won't be having sex in a green jacket unlike 2006 Masters' champion, Phil "I whack off lefty" Mickelson).


In other news: The Cubs swept the Cardinals with an 8-4 win Sunday while Hell simultaneously froze over.

12 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:43 AM

    Plus he has three of the cutest kids in the world.

    Wait, did I just say that? We are talking about Elin and Amy and I just commented on the kids?

    Damn, I am really getting old.

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  2. Phil's not a lefty, he only golfs lefty.

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  4. Anonymous7:17 PM

    I knew Amy in college. She was mormon and very sweet and innocent. She had a serious boyfriend all through college. Phil and Amy started as friends and it slowly progressed. She was beautiful in college, but not conceited at all and was nice to everyone.

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