Fairleigh Dickinson: Champions

That's right folks, the Fairleigh Dickinson Knights are your women's bowling National Champions. And who better to bring it to you than ESPN?

Being a championship game and all, emotions were high, the suspense was immeasurable and the six people in attendance were silently questioning their sanity. Oh, and ESPN had the audacity to televise it, of course.

Let's just repeat this for emphasis: Women. College. Bowling. Televised. (We have no proof, but suspect that some viewers in attendance were taking lines of coke in the bathroom during commercial breaks).

Being quite unfamiliar about FDU, we were curious as to who Fairleigh Dickinson really is. Well, unlike George Mason, he's just some rich dude who gave a pile of money to the school so they'd name it after him. (Don't get any wild ideas all you bizillionaires out there).

We actually watched a little bit of this title match between FDU and Alabama A&M because, well, it was the National Championship after all and Mr. Fairleigh Dickinson himself had a gun to our head and demanded that we cheer for the Knights. (And also because there was nothing else on TV. We think the ratings for cable television may have actually been higher if they showed a blank screen all day). By the way, FDU won 4-1. (Whatever that may mean).

But hey, these girls could bowl a mean game. They were certainly not The Dude, but hey, at least it wasn't Shabbos. (Though it was Easter. Hmm...).

Norv Turner Update: Late Sunday night and our homeboy Norv is still in as the 49ers' offensive coordinator.

In other news: The Chicago Bulls clinched a playoff spot after Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen combined for 70 points in a win over the Miami Heat.