Quinn: 'I can wait'

I don't give a fuck. I'll wait. Quarterbacking by Week 3 is for fucking bitches anyway. And I'm not a fucking bitch, Bitch.

Hey, it's cool. Derek and I are friends. I'm happy for him. Five touchdowns is good. It's fucking great. I like to be on the sidelines to high-five him and shit too. I'll fucking jerk him off if he wants. It's all about Team. Yeah, that's Team with a capital T, bitch. And we won. We're winners. I'm a winner.

I can wait another few weeks to get my first start. Cincinnati's defense is a fucking joke. Notre Dame coulda scored on that secondary. It's only a matter of time before Derek starts getting picked three times a day.

Derek's a good guy and all. Loves pussy. Fucking loves it. But he's not a very good quarterback. When we go to those family fun centers with arcades and shit and we play that football one with the two holes to throw the ball through, he always goes for the bigger one. He's a bitch like that. Fucking great guy though.

I'm used to waiting. Patience is my fucking middle name. Brady Patience Quinn. I waited 'til number 22 on Draft Day. I've waited 23-plus years to come out. I once waited two and a half hours in the car while Samardzija banged his girlfriend in the movie theater. I didn't really want to go in. They went to see one of those Borne movies. Action flicks are for bitches. I'll take Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant over Stallone any day.

My time will come. I know it. I'll save the Cleveland Browns faster than Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. Dr. Quinn gives me a bad name. Dr. Quinn can fucking suck it. Her husband might be better though.

Romeo and I are dawgs though. Yeah, I call my coach dawg. With a fucking AWG. Dogs are fucking animals. Dawgs are fucking homies. And Romeo's my bitch. He'll have me starting by Week 5 at New England. The Pats will be tough. It's all right. After Baltimore butt fucks Derek in Week 4, I can go 10-31 for 78 yards, no TDs and five picks and be called the fucking savior.

And saviors can wait. I'm Brady Patience Quinn. Only bitches can't wait. And I'm not a bitch, Bitch.