Hey, Paul Byrd's back in the bigs! And he'll clean toilets if he has to!

A big welcome back to pitcher Paul Byrd and his super-cool windup. Byrd, who hadn't pitched since last September, fired six scoreless innings for Boston in yesterday's win.

And after the game, he reminded us why people missed Paul Byrd (we don't think people actually missed Paul Byrd. But maybe some did. We did. Paul Byrd is our favorite pitcher in the history of pitchers. That's probably an overstatement but we're writing this Sunday night and we think there's a woodpecker inside our head. A really pissed-off woodpecker who's pecking like we just boinked his daughter):

''I'm just so excited to be back. I want a World Series ring,'' he said. ''Hopefully I can help this team get there. I'll clean toilets if I have to, and I told them that.''

Fantastic. He'll clean toilets and pitch (full audio here). Take him up on that. He'd probably do a lousy job with the toilet rim, but Comet's a fucking miracle worker.

Cool. Paul Byrd. Toilets. We're gonna go sleep for 14 hours now and pork Mr. Woodpecker's daughter. We'll be more coherent tomorrow. Promise.