A few minutes on Entourage

This is pretty much how we explain Entourage to anyone who's never seen the show: it's not funny, it's not dramatic, the characters aren't likable, yet it's very entertaining.

Usually "entertaining" doesn't get Emmy nods, however Entourage has become very popular and we're never quite sure why.

But let's get the good out of the way: Jeremy Piven is fantastic. He's funny, sharp, and probably pretty accurate. You also want to fuck his wife.

Meanwhile, you have the, well, entourage, consisting of Drama (Kevin Dillon), Turtle (some fat fuck) and E (that dude who looks like the guy from Rudy who also plays a hobbit in that make-believe movie, but isn't.) that brings about as much to the show as an extra.

Drama is quite possibly the worst character in television. About five minutes into any episode, you're waiting for Anton Chugirh and Darth Vader to team up and do what they do best. He like tries to be funny and sensitive and stubborn but most of the time you just want to jam the hobbit in his ass. He's the reason why some kids aren't allowed to watch TV.

Turtle, not so easy to escape our wrath, is an overweight, obnoxious stoner. That has it's time and place -- like in Santa Cruz or on Spring Break -- but as a major character on a TV show, the developers, while molding the show, really just thought, "Fuck it. Token stoner guy. We'll get a non-threatening fat guy to play him. Done. Let's go do some lines."

And, of course, the Season 4, Episode 7 synopsis:

Ari has a lead on a script for Vince, but E has his reservations. Drama blows his audition and gets over it by getting wasted with Turtle and playing video games. They eat at an overpriced restaurant.

That story arc is pretty similar to that of the Season 2, Episode 5 show and EVERY OTHER FUCKING EPISODE THIS SHOW HAS PRODUCED.

Of course the show makes you want to be a movie star and put your penis in anything that resides in LA. Like, seriously, every fucking girl in Entourage is a model. The talent agency's secretary? Perfect 10. The chick running the valet? 11.

Now we've been to LA. Lots of good-looking people. You get off the plane at LAX and you're ready to masturbate again. But there are also people who live in LA, like grandparents and Dodgers fans, who you don't want to do X-rated things to. They're just regular people. Regular people live in Los Angeles.

So, we call BS, Entourage. Not every chick is hot. And Drama is a fucking asshole.