Fuck You, Squirrel

What? You thought you'd get away with it, Squirrel?

You may be cute. Fans may think your act is adorable. But I know who you are, Squirrel. You're trouble with a capital FUCK YOU! Think you can do an army crawl into left field and not be detected. "Oooh, there's Shin-Soo Choo, better go into camouflage mode." You may be able to outrun the police and baseball players, but you won't get by me, you sneaky bastard.

It's all fun and games for you isn't, Squirrel? You eat your acorns, dance on telephone wires and interrupt baseball games. But life isn't always like that, you naïve fuck. There are real-life worries out there that you seem to have no regard for. Get back to me when you're balancing 60-hour work weeks, soccer practice and a mortgage.