Fuck You, Phanatic

Fuck You, Penguin is officially the funniest site in the history of humor. So we're going to copy it as much as possible -- but in a sports way. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If you don't think this is funny, well, you suck and once let your dog lick peanut butter off your penis.

Oh, you think you can pull off the, "I dunno, I'm just a silly mascot," look, Phanatic? WRONG, FUCKER.

That bewildered look, the sideways cap, the big belly might play nice with the fans but you don't fool me for a damn second. There's a word for a normal person who has those same qualities: FUCKING RETARDED!

You are like a big, green, dumb mascot who rode the short bus when you were younger. It's nice that you try to brush off your kind demeanor and general wackiness to an adoring fan base, but I can see right through you, Phanatic, and I don't like what I see.