From the New York Daily News, via Ben Maller, comes tragic news that Paris Hilton is anorexic. No. That was last week. Actually it was that she has SARS. Fuck! That was two weeks ago.Here's what supposedly happened:
Driver Kasey Kahne was out at Les Duex in Hollywood Wednesday night when he bumped into the ubiquitous celebutant. "The two of them chatted for a while, and before they parted ways for the night, she leaned in and whispered ‘God, you're cute' and kissed him!" says our source.Our source -- fucking 100 times more reliable than the Daily News' -- told us that Kahne responded to Paris' whisper and said to her, "Can you get syphilis from oral? No?! Right on!"
It's unclear if Hilton and Kahne will get married, but our money is on a shotgun wedding in the next few days. Perhaps from a Planned Parenthood clinic.
I was listening to Ben Maller's program when he brought this up. I thought it was a joke. I'm glad you posted this. As much as i think she's an idiot though, i'd still bang her.
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I felt so bad about my complete mail-in on Friday, until I saw your Friday post. And I don't even have a twin to take the burden off me.
ReplyDeleteThe two most useless entities in the world are NASCAR and Paris Hilton. Hopefully, they can combine to blow each other up and rid the world of their existences.
ReplyDeleteAgree with Rstiles. She's a pro's pro.
ReplyDeleteummm yea...i hope she does some yoga or something or else she'll be flapping in the breeze
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