Arizona State women are getting wet

That headline there? Yep, sexually loaded. Fully intentional. But relevant too.

Tenth-ranked Arizona State beat Texas Tech 61-45, in a game made fully possible by those bastards behind Title IX. Kidding! The game was called early, with just over four minutes to play because of rain. Fucking rain!

There's weather in an arena? That sir is where you are wrong. The game was played outside at Chase Field, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks.

Playing outdoors in December -- no matter the location -- seems about as silly as allowing women the right to vote this guy. Though it seems that the teams involved had a merry time playing in the puddles.

"A basketball game has never been rained out before," Arizona State's Emily Westerberg said, "so I think it's really cool to be a part of that."

And we think it'd be really cool if Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba star in a snuff film together, but that just ain't gonna happen.

Glad you were able to be a part of history, Sweetheart, but if we were the Texas Tech coach, we'd be as pissed as, well, this guy. The Red Lady Raiders would have unlikely come back from a 16-point deficit in four minutes, but now we'll never know. And as Gi Joe says, "knowing is half the battle."

Really, whose bright idea was it to schedule an outdoor basketball game a week before Christmas? That person better have been wasted on peyote. The good shit too.

In other news: After losing 34-16 to Indianapolis, the Cincinnati Bengals were charged with a DUI: Defense Under the Influence. (And they probably found an ounce on Chris Henry).