It's playoffs time...where's Atlanta?

All sorts of newsworthy stories as the playoffs begin this afternoon.

But where to start?

How about the Atlanta Braves. First time they haven't won the division and have been home in October since the Millard Fillmore administration. Hard to blame manager Bobby Cox. The pitching staff is nowhere near the strength it once was, and the Jones sluggers, well, aren't slugging enough to carry a team.

Then there's Jim Leyland and the Detroit Tigers. Leading the AL Central for nearly the entire year, they pissed it away, getting swept by the fucking Kansas City Royals. Eeesh.

Sure, they're still in the playoffs for the first time since the Fillmore administration (wow! all sorts of shit went down when Millard was in office.), but now they lose home field advantage and have to play the Yankees who will undoubtedly beat them in a short series. We imagine Leyland -- a chronic smoker -- has smoked enough just this last week to develop heart disease.

Sticking with the Tigers, what the fuck happened to "Red Pop?" Somebody? Anybody?

Then there's the National League, which will likely get smoked by the AL come World Series time. But funny thing about the NL this year, the Wild Card team came out of the West division. What?

Everyone spoke so poorly of the NL West all year and now it has two representatives in the playoffs. And hell, both have pretty decent chances to win its first series.

The Padres have a home series against the Cardinals, which were duking it out with Detroit to see who could blow it the most over the course of the last week of the season. (We'll give the nod to Detroit because it lost the division after all). And the Dodgers head to New York to face Pedro Martinez Tom Glavine and the Mets.

Weakened by the devastating loss of Pedro, the Dodgers, winners of what seems like 80 in a row the way they've been playing (and being Giants fans), we would by no means be surprised if LA pulls it off and faces the Padres in the NLCS. Hey, stranger shit has happened.

You want picks? What do we get if we're right? A night with your wife? Done.

Yankees vs. Tigers: New York in 4.
Twins vs. A's: Toughy, but Minnesota in 5.
Mets vs. Dodgers: New York in 5.
Padres vs. Cardinals: St. Louis in 4.

Find more picks from more knowledgeable people here.

In other news: The Eagles beat the Packers 31-9 Monday after Brett Favre took too many painkillers.