Some people just don't know when to quit

Jerry Rice used to be a good NFL receiver. In fact, he was pretty much the best in the history of the game. That was then, this is now. Rice, who hasn't played a game since ending the 2004 season with the Seahawks, signed yet another NFL contract Thursday. This one, mercifully, was ceremonial. You see, Rice wasn't exactly good his last few years in the league. And for us 49ers fans, it was a sad sight to see.

Rice signed a one-day contract so he can officially retire as a 49er, and will get some silly amount of money that refers to his uniform number, weight, hat size, zip code, and favorite radio station. Of course, he won't actually get any of that money, because, as stated, the contract is ceremonial. Pro sports financial rules are beyond us, so we're not sure how this whole thing actually works.

The point is, Jerry can now say he retired as a 49er, and we can forget about the debacle that was the last year or so of his career. It was too bad when he crossed the bay to the Raiders, it was just sad when he played in Seattle and spent training camp with the Broncos. Let's face it, if he couldn't play for the Niners, he shouldn't have been playing at all.

Sadly, Jerry apparently doesn't know how to quit in other aspects of his life. After his success in Dancing Like a Little Bitch Dancing With the Stars, he's now pitching a new reality show called "The Underdog."

-Jameson Costello