Happy Fourth of July

When you are spending your holiday doing chores, catching up on sleep and watching re-runs of "Who's the Boss" getting piss drunk, here are some things to think about while feeling so proud to be an American:

-USA Soccer
-USA Baseball
-USA Hockey
-USA Basketball

Wait a sec...

In other news: Jose Canseco returned to the ball field Monday though said he's considering joining the Tour de France because, "I think I'll fit in well."