Who's the next Raiders' coach? Someone? Anyone?

ESPN has learned that the Oakland Raiders still do not have a head coach.

Al Davis and the rest of the Evil Empire offered Louisville coach Bobby Petrino a lucrative deal worth lots of cash, but he declined, opting to stay in Kentucky where he can continue to make inbred children.

Now sources around Raiders' camp are suggesting that former coach Art Shell has emerged as the front-runner for the job.

Shell coached the Raiders from 1989-1994 and made the playoffs three times. We have no idea what Shell has been doing since then, but we imagine he's had a couple bites to eat.

With all the rejections the Raiders are getting, perhaps they should've stayed with our pal Norv Turner.

Speaking of which...

Norv Turner Update: Yes, he's still employed as the offensive coordinator of the 49ers.

In other news: Investigative reporters have learned that Rick Neuheisel was fired from the University of Washington for betting in an illegal gambling ring.