No cheerleaders? Now that's news

The word of the day is that the Steelers don't have cheerleaders or a dance squad. Our response: why the fuck not?

Cheerleaders are perhaps the best thing about sitting close at a football game. While you get a close-up of the players' fat asses, you also get a pretty darn good look at these fine ladies as well.

Apparently the Steelers aren't alone. A handful of other NFL squads, including the Bears, Giants and Packers, don't have hot babes serving multiple functions on the sidelines. (The Cowboys do have cheerleaders -- evident by the constant sellouts at Texas Stadium. It's not to see the Cowboys.)

We think it may have something to do with it being cold in Pittsburgh and those other NFL cities, but on second thought, there may just not be any hot women in Pittsburgh. C'mon, it's the Steel City after all.

So the question now becomes, who will be lurking on the sidelines Sunday? I imagine the Sea Gals will be there, scantily clad as always. But any others? The Detroit Lions don't have cheerleaders either, though Matt Millen may have something to do with that. (No wonder they want to fire him. Hire some babes, win back respect, Matthew.)

Instead of cheerleaders maybe we'll get some Janet Jackson action on the field. Or perhaps some strippers from Canada. Just to, um, keep things interesting.

This column was brought to you by hard liquor: helping John Clayton get laid since 1978.