Wednesday, July 12, 2006

What Materazzi really said to Zidane

This much we know: France's Zinedine Zidane and Italy's Marco Materazzi exchanged words in extra time of the World Cup finale before the French captain head-butted, judo chopped and roundhouse kicked the Italian defender.

Based on this ESPN article, we also know that Materazzi didn't call Zidane a terrorist, and that the insult was acceptable on the soccer field.

What we don't know are the words actually exchanged. So let's speculate on what one needs to say to get a scissor kick to the chest in the year's most important soccer game:

- Lose your hair in those France riots last year?
- You play futbol like a girl... who's missing her arms and legs and who can't hear and is probably blind and mute too.
- Wanna do dinner later?
- Those shorts really bring out your ass
- I know what your son is really doing at church. (It's the priest!)
- Me: Ozzie Guillen. You: Jay Mariotti. Thoughts?
- Bet your prick is smaller than my pinky.
- "Fuck you, dyke"
- Your team defends worse than France did in WWII. Mussolini, bitch!
- Dude, your daughter. Wow. Just wow. And get this: Our kid will have hair!
- You play soccer like an American!

Fine, so he probably just called him a "dirty terrorist."

Your turn, Big Picture faithful. Let's get some Zidane insults in the comments section. Best one wins a gold sticker. Fuck, make it two stickers.

In other news: The AL beat the NL 3-2 in the All-Star Game after Eric Gagne surrendered a two-out triple to Hank Blalock.

-Adam Landres-Schnur

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think "You play soccer like an American" is the greatest insult he could have given. Classic. Just classic.

SAMO said...

How about this insult I heard a homeless man yell all the way across the subway cart directed at some dude sitting next to me on the subway yesterday in Manhattan... "Hey your wife gave me a blow job last night and it sucked!"

The Big Picture said...

so, your initials are ZZ. Like ZZ Top. Legs? huh? huh?

THN said...

I think he said that Jerry Lewis sucked.

Anonymous said...

Ok, I got another one:

Your mom was good, but your sister was better. And your brother was the best.

Thanks for the comments, fellas.

-Adam

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